Who's Problem?

The post below arrived in my inbox this morning from "The Inclusive Church" Blog and I think it nailed some of the frustration that I sometimes feel, but have never seemed to be able to find the words to explain. 

The "it's not my problem" attitude is one that can creep into our lives at any point and in any circumstance and is one that we must constantly keep in check, search our hearts for, and ask God to help us be truly compassionate for those whom we serve. 

Special needs, circumstances, etc isn't the "problem" of the person who holds the job title of the position ... we're all called to love and serve those in the local church and in our community - NO ONE is anyone's "problem" - they're all people created in God's image and no matter what position you hold or what the title that follows your name says it's about loving everyone, serving everyone, and making a difference in the lives of people whom God has created. 

Enjoy the post below, check your heart and wrestle with the information and discussions that it brings to mind.


"Embracing a family affected by special needs and intertwining them into the fabric of a congregation often occur because of a shared ownership between any set of ministries or staff members.  Conversely, if the “not my area of responsibility” mentality creeps into the mindset of any single staff member or lay leader, efforts to include children with special needs are poised to fail."

Jake

This is my buddy Jake. 

Last June, God began to cross my path and his mom's path through a simple conversation about his younger brother.  In July, God crossed another path with another coworker at church.  By October I was standing in our children's ministry hallway looking into the eyes of parents who had been dealt an unimaginable blow.  Jake has cancer.  Without a miracle, Jake's time here on earth will be short.

Through the pain has come perspective.  A perspective on life that I began to peer into four years ago when I found myself holding a four year old in his mother's hospital room as she slipped into the arms of Jesus - it was a time when I began to truly grasp the effects of cancer and the reality that we aren't guaranteed eighty years.  In fact, we aren't guaranteed the next eighty seconds.

Sometimes, I find myself thinking "Jake probably won't experience next year's Christmas, next year's super bowl, etc", but do any of us really know if we'll experience tomorrow?

As I've spent time with Jake and his mom and dad and siblings over the past several months I've not only walked along with them through their journey, but also seen the reality and effects of cancer on many families and many children at Riley.  The 5th floor is the cancer floor - it is a floor that you hope you never have to press the elevator button to ... and when you do, everyone looks at you with a sadness, knowing that you are somehow connected to a child with cancer.

Yet, through the ashes is beauty.  Jake has a heart that is impacting others and helping other children at Riley.  Even as he undergoes his own cancer treatments, he spends a little extra time at Riley handing out Pillow Pets to kids in the hospital, undergoing the same treatments he is.  Not thinking about his own situation, but instead loving and helping others - knowing first hand how each of these children are feeling.

This past weekend on the Northview Blog there was an incredible article posted about Jake and his servant's heart.  He and Northview will be collecting Pillow Pets over the next two months for the kids at Riley - the goal is 1,000 of the plush pillows - so far he has nearly 200! 

As Jake walks this road pray for him, pray for healing, for understanding, and for comfort.  Pray that he has the strength to visit family in Florida in a few months and that others are impacted by his story.

You can read Jake's article here: Jake's Compassion

And if you would like to help, Pillow Pets can be dropped off at Northview.  There is also a fund at 5th/3rd Bank for donations - "Jacob McConahay" is the account name.

Jake's Caringbridge (follow Jake's story here!)

Beyond the ABC's - Thursday's Tip

Sometimes, succeeding at school isn’t about the child at all … it’s about the parents’ approach to it.  Here are a few tips to help your child do their best!

Expect THEIR best … not THE best

Know what your individual child is capable of – it might not be what their big sis or brother is capable of.  Study your child – learn their learning style, talk to their teachers, and understand child development for their age group.  Then expect THEIR best, if it’s an “A” – then expect an “A”, but if it’s a “C” – then expect a “C”.

Words DO Matter

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” – yea right!  We’re hurt by words constantly … and so are our kids.  We’re also motivated by words – saying: “I love you” “You’re doing a great job” “Your grades are improving”, etc will help your child try harder and do better.  Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the frustration and forget the words that matter!

It’s about THEM

Keeping up with the Jones’ has gone from the bigger, better boat to the bigger, better kindergarten derby car.  Keep in mind that it’s YOUR CHILD’S work. Your child needs to do the work so that they can LEARN – that’s really what its all about.  Don’t step in and do the work for your child – instead, provide “scaffolding” (a support structure) – if needed. By supporting your child you teach them that you think they’re doing a good job.  When you do their work for them, you send the message that their work is never good enough.

Ultimately, CELEBRATE your child’s accomplishments … even when it means getting a “D” on the weekly spelling test instead of the “F” they’ve been receiving.

Picture This ::: GraceWorks

During Picture This earlier this month we honored one of our GraceGivers. He is a freshman in high school and is very committed to serving each weekend in the ministry. He and the little boy he serves have become friends and look forward to spending time together.

One of the girls at church wrote this great article about the Christopher Beltz Award that was given to Gregg. You can read it here.

You may remember that Christopher was one of the kids in our ministry, who passes away last winter ... I was excited to honor his memory this year at our dinner and am excited to continue to honor Christopher in the years to come!

Nicaragua

I want to share with you the blog of one of my amazing high school volunteers at church! Next month she will be heading to Nicaragua to serve God at a school for deaf children. She has an amazing gift of working with children and incredible patience. Please pray for her during her travels and time at the school ... and follow her journey here!

GraceWorks

At my church we have an incredible ministry called GraceWorks. The sole purpose of the ministry is to meet the needs of children with special needs and their families. GraceWorks is an "area" within our children's ministry, just as the nursery, preschool, or elementary are. Within each age group of the ministry functions GraceWorks and the GraceGivers who serve. GraceWorks also functions within special events that we host throughout the year, including our summer camps. Basically, whenever a child who has special needs is present at an event, a GraceGiver is asked to serve with the child (if needed).

GraceWorks supports the families of these children as well! Our first endeavor into this has been our Afternoon Away program held a few times each year. Parents have the opportunity to bring their children to the church (including siblings) and then spend three hours doing whatever they want!

This past Sunday we had the opportunity to serve families through an Afternoon Away event, which went incredibly well!

In addition to serving the children and families, my favorite part of our GraceWorks Ministry is that it is completely volunteer led by people who have a passion not only for God, but for children with special needs!!!

GraceWorks

GraceWorks is the special needs ministry @ NVCL.  We started it just over a year ago and have seen some incredible stories over the last 18 or so months ... not only from our families who benefit from the ministry, but also our GraceGivers who serve in the ministry!  GraceWorks isn't limited to just children who have diagnosed special needs ... any child in our ministry who can benefit from a GraceGiver can receive one.  Sometimes this means that a child has endured a difficult time in their life and they need the consistency of the same person each week at church to build into their life and walk beside them during this time, other times it means that the child needs specific medical care while in our ministry, while other times the GraceGiver supports their child in the classroom helping them to do the things that the rest of the children are doing!  

This afternoon we offered an "Afternoon Away" to the families who participate in the GraceWorks Ministry.  For three hours we kept all of their children at church while they enjoyed some time to themselves.  Everyone was excited and we had a wonderful time giving some much need respite to these families! 

Autism

Autism is the fastest growing developmental disability in our world today! Nearly 1 in every 150 children are now diagnosed with autism. Here's an interesting article by Larry Shallenberger ... it takes a different perspective on autism ... check it out here.